Bryan was most definitely the star pupil of the weekend. Not only did he learn how much a speeding ticket costs when you go 45 in a 30, he also learned what not to say to a police officer who just pulled you over. Officer: "What's your hurry?" Bryan: (in classic Bryan fashion) "Oh um, I was just trying to get to the bars." Bryan also learned what not to do in front of your parents, i.e. Black Out. It's ok though, a solid four hour nap and a little bit of projectile vomiting, and he was good to do it all over again that evening.

I learned that tailgating at Purdue is not as good as the game, whereas the opposite could be said for Ball State. The bars (although bigger and much nicer) are way too overcrowded and just as expensive. West Lafayette streets are not to be taken lightly. And Purdue girls are hot, contrary to what most people say. Granted, the ratio of guys to girls was a disconcerting 3:1.

Woods and I learned not to let Bryan out of our sight for any extended period of time. Not because he wanders off during tailgating and tries getting into vehicles not his own, or because he starts playing tonsil hockey with a random girl at a random party (which Woods and I assumed would keep him occupied for a period of time). No, we learned not to do that because he would call Abbie and ride his own personal emotional rollercoaster all night long. In the meantime Woods and I would feel really uncomfortable watching our friend ball his eyes out over a fucking girl.

We also learned it took less than four hours to finish off 42 beers (30 cans and 12 bottles of Keystone - I didn't even know they made Keystone bottles) and a fifth of Jagermeister.

Larry. Larry was some shitkicker redneck who would have had his come up-em's served to him by my fist if Kandis had not stepped in-between us at the right moment. This fuck, after first tapping me in the shoulder and saying "Who's this guy?!?" like I was some fucking punk and was gonna take his shit (in steps Kandis) then had the balls to say "I don't know you, but you look pretty gay to me." All this coming from a guy wearing cowboy boots...yeah. So Larry learned that you don't fuck with a homeboy and get away with it. Luckily we were in Larry's house. So instead of breaking Larry's face, Bryan and I broke the seal on that deuchebag's bed.

So that was the weekend. Minus the three hours I spent last night studying for a Marketing quiz the prof didn't even bother to give, the bastard. We're thinking about heading back for the Michigan State game, if our kidneys can handle it.

MUSIC: Braid - A Dozen Roses