First of all, she's absolutely gorgeous and it's easy to see why any man would want to be around her. But there's more to it than that. We broke up upon my return home last summer. I felt differently about her than I did when I left for tour, and she also had deeper feelings for me than I her, and situations like those...well, we all know how those end up. Now let's flash forward to my return home this summer.

I was with Amanda when I came back home this year. But as to whether or not I'm with Amanda now remains a mystery. How? Let's explain...I haven't called or spoken to her in a good while, at least two weeks or more, nor has she made an effort to contact me. And I, in my eagerness to avoid confrontation as much as possible (most call it being a pussy) will continue to not contact her. And so as the lack of communication between us continues to grow, so will the awkwardness of our inevitable rendezvous. I imagine it'll be somewhat comparable being caught masturbating by your best friend, mother, and high school football coach...while looking at gay porn.

Ok, so maybe it won't be that bad.

So what does Amanda have to do with Marie? Here we go...Both relationships ended after I had returned home from the summer. Why? Because having to deal with an obligation all summer gets old real fast. And when you get home you don't want to have to be obligated to anything anymore, you really want to feel independent. I can't say the same for everyone though, only myself. And yes I know it sounds bad to call a relationship an obligation, thanks.

Anyfuckingway...

Maybe it's because I know I've been a jerk before, to Marie, and I'm trying to figure out how I could have fixed that situation, which would help me with this one? Whatever it is, the whole basis for this ridiculous amount of rambling is the comparison I can make between both Marie and Amanda. And what have we learned from all of this? I've been thinking bout Amanda a lot. And yes, you had to read through all that bullshit to find something out I'm sure you figured out a long time ago. Whatever, eat me.

I also haven't spoken to Marie in nearly a year, so that might also have something to do with it. Yeah...

And I know you've always wondered what I would look like dressed as a gay cowboy.

Gandalf never was the same again...

MUSIC: Emery - In A Win, Win Situation