Yet more than ever, I fell as though this summer is more of an obligation than any form of participation. It's my age-out yet, which means it's my last chance to do this before I'm too old. Apparently you have to march your age-out year, so no matter how much hesitation I have about marching, it doesn't matter. The fact that I'll be aging-out with the Blue Devils, not to mention that we're going to Europe, ok mostly that we're going to Europe, is what brought me out here.

I am beyond ready to age-out though. After four years, and four long hard summers later it feels good to know that each day I can celebrate being that much closer to being done. Four summers is enough, which makes me wonder how anyone can do it for more than that, and there are people who do it for longer than than that. To be honest, this is probably the worst shape I've been in (physically) for tour. I couldn't really help what happened with my back, but my sciatica and the muscle relaxants I took wrecked my body enough to make each day really hard. But things are getting better, and with luck I'll be back to normal soon.

But all in all (and not to contradict myself), the skin cancer and osteoporosis at age 22 is worth it when all is done. What I do still brings me joy, and even more joy to thousands of people. I've never had a bigger sense of accomplishment, nor have I everdone anything harder in my life. And this is something only a handful of people will ever get to do.

So I'm growing older, but I still don't feel like I'm growing up. Like I've said before, I'm basically a 21 year-old boy. But I'm not in any hurry to grow up either. What constitutes being an adult anyway? Or being young for that matter? I actually think of my last year of Drum Corps as my last opportunity to be young. But I'm gonna grow up on my own time. It's not like I'm dodging responsibility (or maybe I am, I don't know), or that I don't want to be treated as an adult, or any of that nonsense. There just comes a time when you are, or you aren't, and right now I don't know where I am.

But hey, enough with the seriousness. Things are good. I'm in california! I imagine it's probably snowing in Indiana right now, that'd be the norm anyway. If you want you can always send mail. And it will always be appreciated. You'll have to send it to the corps hall though so as to not arouse suspicion at the apartment (where 16 of us are living, illegally, duh).

Make sure to put my name in the bottom left-hand corner, or upper right-hand corner, I forget. Just make sure my name's on there. I'll have my phone on at various times (but not in Europe) so you might get a phone call too. That's it from me, hope everything is well with you and yours. I miss all of you, wherever you are.

July 30th, RCA Dome, Be There.

MUSIC: Third Eye Blind - Good Man