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Reason Number Five Hundred And Eight, Point Seven.
One of my reasons behind the bitter contempt I hold for winter (and there are many reasons) would have to involve the ongoing freezing temperature of my behind. True, my ass does indeed contain an above average amount of hair on it, but trust me it doesn't help. The most common defeat I have at the hands of Mother Nature come about after any amount of recorded time spent outdoors during the winter season. The first thing I notice after coming in from the cold is definitely the arctic temperatures coming from my rear end.2004-12-14 : 11:35 a.m. One of the worst feelings comes shortly after I take a seat after being outside. It's as if all the cold I experienced while outdoors concentrates itself on my butt. The most dire situation is when I have to get into my already freezing car and place my already freezing ass on my already freezing seat (note to self: my next vehicle will have heated seats). It's quite ridiculous, I came in nearly ten minutes (after being outside for a total of two minutes) and my ass is still cold. I can only pinch that penny for so long. Probable cause for all of this? Most likely it's the amount of gelatenous fat found on my backside, or lack thereof. I have no ass. Alas, something I've carried (or not carried) with me throughout my lifetime. Not even the added layer of hair is enough to satisfy the demon cold. Perhaps some old-fashioned thermal underwear? Right, who am I? Jed fucking Clampett? p.s. Christmas is coming up soon. I've already got most of my presents for everyone so it's time to post my list. You can find it here. MUSIC: It's Finals Week, Of Course It's Third Eye Blind - Graduate |