Just having you within ten feet of me somehow made the feeling go away, if even for a split second. Which can either be good or bad.

I do want to be your friend, but I don't know how long until I can let it be just that. I want you to still be able to sit and talk to me like we did, but for the wrong reasons. It's not really fair for you to sit there and talk to me while I pretend to listen, because that's all I'd be doing. The only thing I'd be paying attention to is the feeling in my chest, how your presence somehow fills the hole where my heart should be, but instead feels as though it's empty.

Right now it's just a big void, a sinking feeling, like something is pulling at me from the inside. I don't know what else to say other than you alone can fix it.

You need to decide what you want, and if I'm not part of that, at least not in the way I want to be, then so-be-it. Because the honest to God truth of it is, all I want now is for you to be happy. I know that may seem a little clich� for times like these, but it's honestly how I feel. You mean everything to me and if you're not happy then I'm not happy.

You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me. But things, and people, change. I wish you nothing but the best.

I love you, goodbye.

So I said to myself, "No I won't do it. I won't make them unhappy with another painful visit." For if I cause you pain and make you sad, who is going to make me glad? That is why I wrote as I did in my last letter, so that when I do come, I will not be made sad by the very ones who ought to give me the greatest joy. Surely you know that my happiness depends on your happiness. "How painful it was to write that letter! Heartbroken, I cried over it. I didn't want to hurt you, but I wanted you to know how very much I love you.

Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgement, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us.