I forgot to write my New Year's Resolutions.

Here goes:

1. Stop leaving evidence of my whereabouts on people's pillows. Yeah, you know.

2. Try to lose about 30 pounds.

3. Stop thinking about Blake's mom like that.

4. Stop blowing things up.

5. Stop giving rusty trombones to people.

6. Tell people about my 18 children in Tibet, Nepal, and India.

7. Tell people about my other 7 children in Arizona (The real reason I left).

8. Tell the truth about those priests and the child pornography/molestation (It was all me).

9. Stop making out with all my friend's girlfriends, and my friends.

10. Get my prom date as soon as possible.

MUSIC: It's 4:30. I'm going to bed.